r18novel Chapter 28: I have always been
Chapter 28: I have always been
Train G7123 came to a smooth stop at Shanghai Station.
Nie Xiguang followed the flow of people out of the carriage, and the humid, hot air hit him in the face.
It's still that familiar metropolis, with its dusty streets and neon lights.
She stood on the platform, momentarily dazed.
More than four months ago, she left from here, dragging her suitcase, her mind filled with confusion about the future and the urge to escape.
Back then, I never imagined that returning here would be to put an end to that muddled period of my youth.
I tidied up the house quickly, and it was already dark when I went out again.
The Peony Hall is located on the third floor of the Peace Hotel.
Before I even got close, I could hear loud laughter and talking coming from inside.
The eldest brother's signature loud laugh, Xiao Feng's chattering, Si Liang's gentle voice, and Ye Rong's occasional barbed remark.
Nie Xiguang paused at the door, took a breath, and pushed the door open.
The private room fell silent instantly.
"Xiguang?!" Siliang was the first to stand up, went over and took her arm. "You really came! I thought I was seeing things and misread the group message!"
The eldest brother also stood up, his eyes a little red: "Xi Guang..."
Xiao Feng pounced on me and gave me a bear hug: "Xigua! I missed you so much! You went to Suzhou without even telling me! And you changed your number! That's so unfair!"
Surrounded by these people, Nie Xiguang felt a lump in his throat: "I'm sorry... something came up earlier."
Her gaze swept across the table.
Besides the guys in the dorm, there were a few friends I hung out with in college. Their faces were familiar, but I could hardly remember their names.
Then she saw Zhuang Xu.
He sat next to the head of the table, wearing a light gray shirt, looking at her with a complicated expression.
Surprise, scrutiny, and a hint of barely concealed emotion.
Their eyes met, and the air fell silent for a moment.
"Xiguang, sit down quickly!" Siliang pulled her to an empty seat.
Coincidentally, it's right across from Zhuang Xu, separated by a round table; you can see it with just a glance.
Ye Rong, sitting on Zhuang Xu's other side, looked up at her and gave her a lukewarm smile: "Oh, Xi Guang, long time no see. I thought you'd forgotten all about us since you went abroad to study."
Nie Xiguang nodded in confusion: "Long time no see, Ye Rong. But what does studying abroad mean?"
"I'm going there for a study tour, not to study abroad."
These words immediately ignited a powder keg.
"Study abroad?" Zhuang Xu stood up and stared intently at Nie Xiguang.
"yes?"
Nie Xiguang nodded in confusion, then his attention was drawn away by Xiao Feng.
"So, Watermelon, where have you been these past few months?" Xiaofeng asked curiously.
"After returning from my study abroad trip, I went to Suzhou to work in the finance department of a photovoltaic company. Now I've been transferred to the management department," Nie Xiguang said simply.
"Photovoltaics? That sounds like high-tech!"
Si Liang and the others weren't interested in Nie Xiguang's study abroad trips. Instead, they sighed, "Why did you go so far away? It would have been so much better if you had stayed in Shanghai, where we could have gotten together more often."
"I want a change of scenery." Nie Xiguang smiled and didn't say anything more.
Seeing Nie Xiguang sitting among the girls, Zhuang Xu loosened his clenched fist and then sat down.
The topic quickly shifted back to the eldest son's wedding, including bridesmaid dresses, door-blocking games, and the wedding ceremony.
Nie Xiguang listened quietly, occasionally chiming in, but his gaze kept involuntarily drifting towards Zhuang Xu.
After a few rounds of drinks, the atmosphere became even more lively. Some people suggested that the eldest brother and the groom-to-be drink a toast together, while others started bringing up their embarrassing past from college.
Amidst the commotion, Zhuang Xu suddenly stood up, glanced at Nie Xiguang, then turned and left the private room, heading towards the open-air balcony.
The meaning is obvious.
Nie Xiguang's heart tightened. After a few seconds, she whispered to Si Liang beside her, "I'm going out for some fresh air."
Siliang was laughing so hard she was doubled over: "Oh, okay, hurry back!"
Ye Rong's gaze followed her until the door closed, at which point her eyes darkened.
---
The open-air balcony was quiet, shutting out the noise from the private room. The evening breeze carried the dampness of the Huangpu River, and in the distance, the Bund was ablaze with lights.
Zhuang Xu was leaning against the railing with his back to the door when he heard footsteps and turned around.
The two stood a few steps apart, neither of them speaking for a moment.
"I didn't expect you to actually come," Zhuang Xu said first, his voice sounding a little heavy in the wind.
"It's only right that the eldest brother is getting married." Nie Xiguang walked to the railing and stood next to him, but kept a little distance. "There are also some things that should have been said a long time ago."
Zhuang Xu turned his head to look at her.
The neon lights cast flickering shadows on her face, making her features clearer and more resolute than I remembered.
There's a calmness in her eyes, something that comes from experiencing certain things and figuring things out.
"What did you say?"
Zhuang Xu had already guessed it in his heart, but he didn't want to admit it.
Nie Xiguang turned to look at him directly: "Zhuang Xu, about those vague feelings of affection from before, the unpleasantness caused by misunderstandings and awkwardness, and the unresolved ending at graduation... I think it's time to officially put a period to it."
Zhuang Xu felt as if something had squeezed his heart, causing a dull ache.
He tried to maintain a calm expression: "Why now?"
"Because I wasn't brave enough or clear-headed enough before," Nie Xiguang said frankly. "Dragging it out isn't good for anyone, and also because..."
She paused, her voice becoming even more resolute, "I've met someone who shows me what it means to truly like someone and what the future looks like. I don't want to face him with the shadows of the past."
These words were like a needle, piercing the last glimmer of hope in Zhuang Xu's heart.
He remained silent for a long time before asking in a hoarse voice, "Who is it?"
"You should have met him before, Yu Chen."
It's him.
Zhuang Xu recalled the composed and confident figure in the Shuangyuan conference room yesterday.
He thought that after graduating, he entered the bank and gradually gained a foothold, and that he was on the right track.
But that once insignificant person, with a speed that he could not understand or keep up with, jumped to a position that he had to look up to.
Even the girl he once had feelings for and regretted dating has now gone to be with him.
That's fucking unfair.
But when has this world ever been fair?
"Do you know him?" Zhuang Xu couldn't help but ask, his tone carrying a sharpness he himself didn't realize. "His patents, his approach to Shuang Yuan, even his approach to you... he might all have ulterior motives."
"Things in the business world aren't as simple as you think."
Nie Xiguang frowned.
Although she knew that Yu Chen had secrets and things she couldn't understand, she personally experienced the real companionship, support, respect, and understanding he provided.
Those feelings can't be faked!
"I understand what I felt." Nie Xiguang's tone was a little calmer. "As for his career and goals, that's his business. I believe he has his principles and bottom line. At least, he has never made me guess or made me uncomfortable with his ambiguous attitude."
The contrast in those words left Zhuang Xu speechless.
Yes, ambiguous, proud yet awkward.
Unsure yet reluctant to let go...
Isn't this just the tension between them?
He slumped back against the railing, and said with a wry smile, "Looks like... I've lost pretty badly."
"There's no real winning or losing." Nie Xiguang shook her head, her tone softening. "Zhuang Xu, we're just not a good match, and we missed our chance."
"You're great, and you're doing well at the bank. You'll definitely meet someone who's right for you and understands you in the future."
This is a sincere blessing, and also a final farewell.
Zhuang Xu looked at her, and in Nie Xiguang's eyes, he could no longer find a trace of the emotions that had once stirred for him.
Those eyes were clean and open, clearly reflecting his image, but they had nothing to do with him anymore.
He knew it was truly over.
But he was not willing to give up.
-
"Then I'll be going now~" Nie Xiguang said with a smile as she greeted Xiao Feng and the others.
It's time to go back.
Do not!
Yu Chen was also in Shanghai. After saying goodbye to Zhuang Xu, she felt completely relaxed and couldn't wait to see Yu Chen and give him a big hug.
Stepping out of the hotel, a chill mixed with dampness hit me.
Nie Xiguang looked up and saw scattered snowflakes drifting down from the inky black sky.
It's snowing in Shanghai!
She pulled her coat tighter, took out her phone, paused for a moment on the screen, and then dialed that familiar number.
"Yu Chen, where are you?"
Her voice carried a lightness and longing that she herself was unaware of.
"Turn back."
A laughing voice came from both the receiver and behind me at the same time.
Nie Xiguang suddenly turned around.
Not far away, under a streetlamp, Yu Chen stood in the light snow, wearing a black coat and holding a phone in his hand, smiling at her.
The light shone down on his shoulders, spreading a warm hue in the falling snow.
He didn't say "I'll come pick you up," nor did he ask "Is it over?"
He only said, "I've always been here."
Nie Xiguang felt a surge of warmth in her heart and was about to run towards him.
"Dawn!"
A hurried shout came from behind.
Zhuang Xu chased after him, his breathing a little erratic, his bangs slightly damp from the snow.
He didn't even glance at Yu Chen, but stared intently at Nie Xiguang, his eyes bloodshot.
"Can we talk one more time? Just five minutes..."
"Zhuang Xu, everything that needs to be said has been said." Nie Xiguang stopped in his tracks, his tone calm but resolute.
"I don't accept it! I didn't know you were going on a study tour; I thought you were going to study abroad!" Zhuang Xu suddenly raised his voice, taking a step forward to grab her wrist. "I can explain those misunderstandings. Back then, I—"
Before his hand could even touch Nie Xiguang, another arm had already slashed in, stabilizing his movements.
Yu Chen had somehow appeared beside Nie Xiguang, his fingers seemingly casually gripping Zhuang Xu's wrist, but the force made Zhuang Xu freeze instantly.
"Mr. Zhuang," Yu Chen's voice was low, clear and cold amidst the falling snow, "She said it's over."
Zhuang Xu tried to break free, but found that the hand did not move at all.
He looked up and met a pair of deep black eyes.
There was no anger, no provocation, only a calm warning.
That's the look in someone who has complete control of the situation.
"This is between us!" Zhuang Xu gritted his teeth, turned to Nie Xiguang, his tone softening, with a final plea, "Xiguang, just one chance, I promise..."
"She gave you many chances."
Yu Chen pushed him away, then pulled Nie Xiguang behind him, stepping half a step to the side to completely separate the two of them.
"It's because you never caught it."
These words struck Zhuang Xu like a blow to the head, leaving him pale as a ghost.
He opened his mouth, but no sound came out.
Those proud, awkward, and unspoken feelings are now shattered into a mess, gradually covered by the increasingly dense snow.
Yu Chen stopped looking at him and turned to face Nie Xiguang, her eyes softening with tenderness.
"Are you cold?" He naturally took her slightly cool hand into his palm and brushed the snowflakes from her hair.
Nie Xiguang shook her head, looked up at him, her eyes sparkling: "How did you know I was here?"
Yu Chen chuckled softly, "It's a secret."
He didn't say "I'm afraid you'll need me," nor did he ask "How did the talks go?"
He just came.
Appear where she can see you as soon as she needs to.
Nie Xiguang suddenly felt that the wind blowing in his face on this damp and cold winter night had a sweet taste.
"Let's go." She took his hand in return, their fingers intertwined.
"it is good."
The two turned around and never looked back.
Zhuang Xu stood frozen in place, watching the two figures walk side by side into the swirling snow.
Nie Xiguang turned his head slightly and said something to Yu Chen. Yu Chen lowered his head to listen, and then raised his hand.
He pulled her close with remarkable ease and wrapped half of her body in his coat.
So intimate, so perfectly matched.
It was as if no one and no past could ever be inserted between them.
The snow fell heavier and heavier, quickly blurring the view.
Zhuang Xu finally staggered back a step and fell onto the cold snow.
He suddenly remembered a long time ago, on a sunny afternoon, Nie Xiguang was standing at the library entrance waiting for him with a book in her arms. When she saw him come out, her eyes curved into crescent moons.
And what was he thinking at the time?
It seems like she's thinking about how to perform in the next interview.
It turns out that some people and some moments, once missed, are missed forever.
It's not that we weren't meant to be.
He was not worthy of it back then.