Genshin Impact: My roommate and I became funny Hilichurls

Page 3

Before he could finish speaking, the slime in his hand "poof" turned into a lump of slime.

Zhang Chu suddenly jumped off the rock, kicking up a few pebbles: "I have an idea! How about we build a motorhome?"

He gestured excitedly.

"It needs to be able to climb mountains and dive underwater, and preferably also equipped with an elemental cannon!"

"An elemental cannon?!"

Er Kang's eyes lit up, and his right hand unconsciously struck the classic pose of covering his chest.

"Then we can—"

Gu Qian rushed forward and covered Er Kang's mouth.

"No chuunibyou (delusional) comments allowed!"

He turned to Zhang Chu and said, "But the RV is really nice, we can consider it."

Qingyu looked helplessly at the two who had suddenly started drawing design plans on the ground with twigs: "Are you serious? Where are you going to get the materials to build a motorhome that can go anywhere, whether it's in the sky or the sea?"

"hey-hey......"

Zhang Chu and Gu Qian simultaneously revealed eerie smiles and turned their heads to look at the caravan slowly approaching from the foot of the mountain.

The fluttering winter flag was particularly eye-catching in the setting sun, and the leading merchant was reprimanding the bodyguards with spittle flying everywhere.

"Help! What kind of monster is this?!"

The bodyguards watched helplessly as their employer was pounded into the ground by Lei Douwang like a rice cake being beaten.

As for them, they've long since passed away!

Qingyu was humming a little tune as he dismantled their carriage, while Erkang was actually singing a lullaby to the frightened horses!

Zhang Chu nailed the last piece of wood to the modified frame.

What was once an ordinary freight wagon is now equipped with a fire-breathing engine, and a crooked airbag, seemingly made of slime condensate, is perched on its roof.

Qingyu sighed, rubbing his forehead: "Can this really be opened...?"

"Of course!" Er Kang swung around gracefully and leaped into the driver's seat, his cloak fluttering in the wind. "Towards the stars and the abyss—"

"Shut up! Drive!"

The three of them shouted in unison.

With the roar of the engine and the horrified gazes of the caravan members, the strange-looking RV wobbled and soared into the sky, sparks from its rear igniting the dandelions by the roadside.

When winter came, the merchant poked half his head out of the ground, tears streaming down his face.

------

"Holy crap! That's too fast! Too fast! Erkang, slow down!"

Qingyu's screams echoed in the carriage. His ten fingers were gripping the seat so tightly that his knuckles were white as if they were about to embed into the leather.

Outside the window, the pine forests on the border of Mondstadt have merged into a blurry green torrent, with a few startled butterflies occasionally flitting by, bursting into iridescent halos in the sunlight.

"I clearly stepped on the brake! Why is it still accelerating?!"

Er Kang's feet slammed on the accelerator pedal, making a loud creaking sound, and the gauges on the dashboard had long since crossed the red alert zone.

The elemental flames spewing from the rear of the RV changed from blue to a dangerous purplish-red, leaving a comet-like trail in the sky.

Gu Qian leaned half his body out of the car window, the wind whipping his face. He was only kept from flying out by holding onto the seatbelt, and all the muscles in his body were trembling.

"You idiot, you stepped on the accelerator! The left one! The left one!"

"Bullshit! My driving instructor clearly said the brake is on the right!"

Veins bulged on Er Kang's forehead as he suddenly jerked the steering wheel: "Damn it! I'll show you who's the boss!"

With a crisp cracking sound as metal broke, the entire steering wheel and steering column were ripped off.

The carriage suddenly became eerily quiet. The four men stared at the round object in Er Kang's hand, which was still dripping hydraulic oil. The warning light on the dashboard, indicating "steering system failure," began to flash merrily.

"that……"

Zhang Chu's voice trembled slightly.

"Did we forget to tighten the bolts when we were building the car?"

"There don't seem to be any bolts on the carriage..."

Qingyu's words silenced everyone.

The sound of trees being snapped came from outside the window. The RV scraped past the mountain wall of Qingyun Peak, and the rock elemental shield sparked dazzling sparks as it rubbed against the rocks.

Xiangling was squatting on Dihua Isle collecting glass bags when she suddenly saw a flaming tin box dancing in the sky.

"Crispy rice! Look at that!"

She pointed excitedly to the sky.

"Is this a newly developed flying treasure chest from Liyue?"

Before Guoba could respond, the "flying treasure chest" crashed into a mining site on the northern slope of Tianheng Mountain.

The massive shockwave overturned all the tents within a hundred meters radius. The advance team of the Fools, who were slacking off, were blown into the air, and several debt collectors were hanging from the treetops like colorful balloons.

Thirty seconds after the mushroom cloud rose, rustling sounds came from the bottom of the charred crater.

"Bah! Bah!"

Qingyu spat out bits of dirt and struggled to crawl out of the rubble. His shaking movements resembled those of a golden retriever that had fallen into the water, with bits of charred skin falling off to reveal the new skin underneath.

With his still-smoking hair, Gu Qian squinted as he tried to make out the amber veins on the distant cliff: "Damn it, these patterns... could we have arrived in Liyue?"

Zhang Chu's roar startled several rock crystal butterflies, causing them to scatter and flee. He then picked up the Fool's Hammer he had picked up on the road.

"There's a reason you failed your driving test four times!"

The hammer traced a perfect parabola, smashing Er Kang, who had just climbed out, back into the pit.

A muffled voice of protest came from the bottom of the pit: "Who knew Teyvat's piloting system was different from Earth's! Besides, the regular route from Mondstadt to Liyue involves going through Stonegate, so we saved at least three days of travel time..."

The three exchanged a glance and simultaneously revealed devilish smiles.

Qingyu pulled a specially made firework, standing two meters tall, from his four-dimensional pocket. It was labeled "Special Supply to Xiaogong Palace."

"Wait, wait! What are you doing?"

Bound up like a dumpling, Er Kang writhed desperately on the fireworks: "I'm warning you! According to Article 5 of Chapter 3 of the Teyvat Road Traffic Safety Law... Waaaaah!"

The hissing sound of the burning fuse interrupted his legal lecture.

With a deafening roar, Er Kang transformed into a humanoid meteor and hurtled towards Mondstadt, startling countless birds along the way.

The three of them nimbly shouldered the improved version of the Windwing jetpack made by Alice and followed leisurely behind.

As for why I went back to Mondstadt.

Of course, it's to allow authors to write more filler content.

Chapter 4 Traveler

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!"

A piercing scream shattered the clear sky of Mondstadt.

"boom--!!!"

Brilliant fireworks exploded against the azure sky, transforming into a dazzling shower of stars.

However, in this beautiful scene, a dark humanoid object was thrown into the air by the shockwave of the explosion.

"Cough cough cough..."

Er Kang, his body charred black, blinked in the smoke, a few wisps of smoke still clinging to his hair.

He looked down blankly at the ground getting closer and closer, and suddenly realized a terrifying truth—

Gravity mercilessly pulled him toward the ground, so fast that his mind couldn't even react.

During the rapid descent, his neck was stretched extremely long, like an incredibly elastic rubber band.

With a muffled thud, Er Kang's head plunged straight into the soft sand like a radish, his legs kicking comically in mid-air.

"Ouch... my neck..."

He braced himself with his hands on the ground and struggled to pull his head out of the sandpit, making a "pop" sound like uncorking a wine bottle.

He shook the sand off his head and suddenly noticed something reflecting light at the bottom of the pit.

Er Kang curiously reached into the sandpit and pulled out a flattened...paper doll.

"Was it my accuracy that was better... or was it your catch that was better..."

He looked at the anime-style "victim" in his hand with a mixture of amusement and exasperation; the outline of the blonde, paper-thin girl was still vaguely discernible.

Er Kang pulled out a red air pump from somewhere (why would a paper doll have an air pump hole?), and aimed it at a small hole that had mysteriously appeared on the paper doll's waist.

"Crunch, crunch, crunch..."

As the air pump operated rhythmically, the paper figure slowly inflated like an inflatable doll.

In the fifteenth round, a crisp "ding!" rang out, and the blonde girl finally regained her three-dimensional form.

She lay on the beach with her eyes closed, her off-shoulder white dress covered in sand, and the delicate metal buckles on her over-the-knee boots gleaming in the sunlight.

"Wait! I hit Ying?!"

Er Kang's eyes widened.

"Good grief, the Abyss has pulled the Prince again this time..."

He couldn't help but complain, while nervously glancing around, afraid that an angry emergency food item might suddenly jump out and shout, "Let go of my traveler!"

Three familiar voices came from afar.

Qingyu, Zhang Chu, and Gu Qian arrived at the scene breathlessly, and were all stunned when they saw Ying Shi lying on the ground.

Qingyu adjusted his slightly askew mask: "This... Erkang, you slept with her?"

Erkang's face instantly turned even redder than the Jueyun chili peppers of Liyue.