r18novel Chapter 311 Prayer
Chapter 311 Prayer
Chaolu said curiously and happily, "So this is how I look in Neji's eyes... It's the first time I heard you tell me what you think of me. It's really fresh. It sounds like I'm very powerful! Misty, then am I born to be a ninja of the Hidden Mist Village?"
Neji was not surprised by her reaction. He had observed Chaolu for many years and was familiar with her behavior patterns. "I sometimes wonder, what if I don't? If I don't stay where I am, if I go looking for a new location, if I want to change, will I find you in the fog, or will I leave the fog and never be allowed to enter again?"
"What kind of fog can trap you with your white eyes?"
"Even white eyes can't see through people's hearts."
"I don't feel like I'm hiding anything from you... I've always been sincere to you."
"I know. I know your true feelings. But beneath the sincerity you reveal, there are huge, hidden emotions."
Zhaolu said with a smile: "I can't complain to you about every trivial matter, right?"
"When people walk around in the world and interact with others, they all wear masks. In order to blend in with the crowd, in order not to be treated as an alien... or to deliberately publicize their existence so that others will not approach them casually. Sometimes I wonder if the morning dew also has a mask - to make others feel comfortable when they are with you, to make others happy, and to lower the vigilance of others."
"Ningji," Chaolu sighed, "You think too much."
"Maybe. But because I've been watching you, I want to figure out your every move. I want to get the right answer, and I want to know what formula I need to solve every puzzle you give me. Sometimes when I see you being silly, I wonder if Chaolu is pretending to be silly on purpose. It's like a manzai actor who thinks, 'Ah, this reaction should be good,' and does it on purpose."
"…Are you calling me stupid?"
"Just like now." Neji said, "avoiding the important issues and being perfunctory and vague. Are you doing this on purpose? To avoid questions you don't want to answer? Or do you simply not care about how others speculate about you? Your brain circuit is so strange that you only pay attention to some... points that are different from others?"
Zhaolu said helplessly: "You have already preset answers for all my actions. Even if I say no, you won't believe me."
"So, these are just my guesses, and the only answer is in your hands. Can't you take this opportunity to let me get the correct answer?"
Chaolu sighed and tugged at his hair. "I haven't finished what I said before."
"……you say."
"Didn't I say before that after reading the memories of many rebellious ninjas, I felt that my previous experiences were just like playing house?"
"Ah."
"I discovered one more thing."
"what?"
"No matter how indestructible a person may seem on the surface, they have a fatal weakness in their heart. As long as you find that place, you can easily defeat the opponent. No matter how strong they are physically, many people are fragile mentally."
"So you were invincible then."
"No, that's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is that some of them know their weaknesses, and some don't. But even if they don't know, they will instinctively look for things that can make them feel safe. Sometimes, what they fear, what they are vulnerable to, and what they lack and desire are the same thing."
"What is it?"
“To be seen by others, to be recognized for the value and meaning of their existence, and to be loved by others.”
"Love" has an invincible power.
That should have been a vulgar cliché, but when I thought about the morning dew flipping through the most unbearable corruption and decadence of countless people, and slowly watching the dark desires of countless people, I understood the power of "love".
The word suddenly took on a twisted power, becoming so terrifying that it made people tremble.
"Many people...even if they seem to be indifferent to others on the surface, they are still afraid that their true selves will not be accepted deep down. I have seen their most secret secrets that they dare not expose to others, and I am happy to accept it. I have become the only person in the world who accepts their truest appearance and fully affirms everything about them."
Neji took a deep breath, "No wonder they are so fanatical and willing to risk their lives for you."
"Of course, there are some people whose dark sides I cannot accept. They will not complain about this, but will feel that I do not treat them equally, which highlights their uniqueness. I accept them not because I can accept everything, but because they are who they are."
"Hmm... so you and Bai didn't do it yourself. They took the initiative to eliminate those who were not accepted by you." Neji paused, "It's like... the believers received the oracle and eliminated heretics for the gods."
"When you put it that way...I sound like an evil villain."
"Only God can tolerate all the ugliness of the world, listen to their confessions, and forgive their sins." Neji said: "Have you ever thought about becoming a 'God'?"
"No." Chaolu said, "I felt at the time that everyone was suffering. Different people have different sufferings, but people often think that others must be happier than themselves. At that time, I suddenly understood what I had read in the book before, 'All living things suffer'. I also understood that no one can save everyone. It is good enough for people to protect their closest ties."
She stroked his long hair all the way to the end, "You, Gaara, Zabuza, and Haku are my closest bonds. I am determined... to be with you for a long time, and I will do my best so that you will no longer suffer. But in Neji's eyes, does this mean that I have trapped you where you are?"
Neji held that hand, lowered his head and placed his forehead on the back of her hand.
Chaolu was stunned for a moment, then asked with concern: "Is the reincarnation eye moving again?"
"No..." He seemed to be enduring severe pain, and his voice was as if squeezed out from between his teeth: "I... It hurts to hear you say that."
Chaolu was silent for a moment, then asked cautiously, "Did I do something wrong?"
Neji shook his head, he put his cheek on her palm, and when he looked up at her, his face was pale: "You are not wrong... but, that means that you can't belong to me alone, forever, and only regard me as your special and only existence."
"..."
"But it doesn't matter, you gave me a standard answer, and now I have a correct formula."
Chaolu was confused and asked, "What does the answer... the formula... mean?"
"It means I know how to be around you better than before."
"Ningji is fine like this now, right?"
He shook his head, bent down and kissed the back of her hand, then gently kissed her fingertips: "Very good? Is this also good?"
"..."
The boy approached her again, but this time he didn't approach her, but leaned towards her.
Asaro lay on the ground, with Neji supporting himself on top of her, staring closely into her dark eyes, "My dark side... is this."
Her eyes were like calm deep pools, and his current appearance was reflected on the surface of the water. Although he still looked neat and decent on the outside, Neji knew how embarrassed and miserable he was at the moment.
As long as she frowned, he would be easily defeated and overwhelmed by regret and self-loathing.
Neji slowly closed the distance between them, being extremely cautious, but in the end he closed his eyes and just gently pressed his forehead against Chaolu's.
He whispered as if praying: "Can you...accept all my ugliness, listen to my confession, and forgive my sins?"